You Say You're Sorry For What It's Worth
by Morghen
Summary: When he was assigned this mission he had no clue how life changing it was going to be." 5th day of iPod challenge. Regulus is assigned a task by the Dark Lord and meets someone there that he wished he hadn't. NOT SLASH!


**Day Five

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_"The time will come_  
_ The time will come_  
_ The time will come_  
_ You will be sorry for what you've done_  
_ The time will come_"

_-Scary Kids Scaring Kids "Drowning You in Fear"

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When he was assigned this mission he had no clue how life changing it was going to be.

Regulus had been dreading this night, just like he dreaded every night he had a task, ever since he was chosen as one of the five Death Eaters to go. Each foot step felt heavier than the last as he followed Bellatrix, Dolohov, Rosier, and Avery through the lantern-lit street. They walked in silence past the buildings that he had once loved; buildings that flooded his worried mind with so many damn memories. But these memories didn't matter because this time as he made his way through Hogsmeade, he wasn't going to Zonko's with his old best friend Aleron, he wasn't visiting Hog's Head as a dare to see if they would serve him Firewhiskey. No, this time he was to enter The Three Broomsticks with no intention of purchasing a Butterbeer - with only the intention to kill.

The task at hand was a difficult one because they weren't there to kill just any old wizard or witch. Voldemort had sent them that night because he had received a tip that some members of the Order of the Phoenix were meeting at the pub. It was not a task that he would usually assign because it forced his servants to murder in public but he needed to get rid of two specific people who had been causing a lot of trouble for him. They had orders to kill Fabian and Gideon Prewett that night.

The five cloaked figures halted at the entrance. Regulus looked at the glass window and saw a masked man, no, child staring back at him. It was the only time that he could stomach gazing at his reflection - when he was hiding behind his mask. Without the silver shield covering him, he would see the thing that he despised more than anything else - himself. He would see the monster that he had become, he would see the ghosts of the innocent people who had died at his hand - it made him sick. He didn't want to be a monster; he never had.

"Regulus, are you listening?" questioned his cousin with her cruel voice.

He pulled his eyes away from his reflection and shook his head "no".

"I said that you and Rosier were to fight, and kill if you can, the other Order members while Dolohov, Avery, and I go for the Prewetts," she repeated, smiling as she thought of the task at hand.

"I know," he replied shortly.

Bellatrix stepped out from the line and grasped the door handle with her pale hand that reminded Regulus of a skeleton. "Are you ready to have some fun?" she asked, smirking, as she swung the door ajar.

They rushed in the door and Regulus frantically surveyed the scene.

His grey eyes swept from one side of the pub to the other - empty chairs, empty chairs, empty chairs, em - people.

They had had the element of surprise over the seated people at the back of the pub but the Order members outnumbered them. He counted eight people - a few who he didn't know by name and one who made his heart drop.

Regulus tried to push the image of the face that he just saw out of his mind and focus. The others were screaming and cursing, casting spells in every direction but he couldn't seem to get this mouth to work.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" shrieked Bellatrix, bringing him out of his trance.

Regulus quickly shook his head and pointed his wand at a figure that was fleeing to the stairs to get leverage over the Death Eaters. "STUPEFY! STUPEFY! STUPEFY!" he shouted, his spell finally meeting its target on the third try. The person dropped to the floor, stunned.

"RETREAT!" bellowed Bellatrix. It was part of their plan to lure the Order members outside where it was much more open.

Regulus rushed towards the door, trying to avoid the curses that were being shot at his back. The cool summer air entered his mouth as he panted, trying to catch his breath. He ran behind a large display sign in front of a store that he didn't recognize and used it for cover. He could feel the adrenaline pump through him as he crouched behind his shield and waited for the enemies to leave the pub.

Sirius. He had seen his older brother for the first time in years seated at that table. He had been waiting for this day ever since he joined ranks with the Dark Lord; he had always suspected that he would have to go against his brother some day. What he hadn't expected was that he didn't want to attack Sirius - the moment he saw his elder brother, all of the hate that he had bottled up disappeared.

A light spread across the gravel as the pub door opened. He watched as Bellatrix, Avery, and Dolohov rushed forward to meet their targets; the next step of the plan was to separate the Prewett brothers from the rest of the group. They would still be dangerous but at least there would only be the two of them. There they went, the three Death Eaters firing spell after spell, pushing the brothers away from the rest. Now it was time for him to play his part.

Regulus inhaled deeply and moved out from behind the sign to shoot curses at the other six people. He wasn't playing to kill even though he knew he would probably be punished for it later. He could see the faint outline of Rosier casting the Cruciatus Curse on a squirming figure that was on the dirt. The Order members stopped pursuing after Bellatrix and the other two and charged towards Rosier. Regulus left his cover to get a better aim at their backs, allowing himself to be exposed from his hiding place. The spell that was forming on his tongue never left his mouth because just as he raised his wand, one of the charging figures stopped and turned, facing him.

The young Death Eater froze for the second time that night, his wand still pointed but useless because he couldn't get himself to speak. The tall person looked back at his friend who was being tortured undecidedly, trying to choose which way to go. Regulus hoped and prayed that the person would go with the others and not come his way. The figure looked back once more and then charged - towards Regulus.

Regulus knew exactly who was coming towards him; even in the dim light that lit the street, he could recognize the face of his brother. He took a deep breath, willing himself to form the words of a spell, any spell, anything to keep Sirius from coming any closer. His hand shook in the air and he knew that he couldn't do it - he couldn't hurt his sibling. Regulus did the only thing that he could do, the only thing that he was actually any good at: He ran. He turned and ran as fast as he could, like a coward, because he was afraid to face Sirius. Fear was the thing that drove his legs to go faster and faster as his made his way up the street. The wind combed through his dark hair as he made a swift turn, blasting open the door to an empty building.

He flew in, praying that Sirius wouldn't follow him, but he knew better. He knew his brother too well to believe for one moment that Sirius would be afraid to follow. Regulus knew that Sirius did not realize who he was pursing and he knew that he would be given no mercy when his brother found out. He didn't deserve mercy. Fear caused his adrenaline to flow faster through him as he scurried up the rotting staircase; he could hear Sirius enter the building not far behind him.

Regulus stopped. It didn't matter now whether or not he ran any further or tried to hide in one of the rooms because he was trapped. He had stupidly led himself into a trap and had no means of escaping.

He walked slowly backwards, placing his back up against the wall. His grey eyes searched desperately for an open window, a balcony, anything to let him escape. His luck failed him once again - all the windows were boarded up and he had no time to spare to break the boards.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Sirius made his way, slowly, up the stairs - one, two, three. There he was.

"Stupefy!" Regulus shouted, trying to stun his brother and get away. His spell whizzed right by his target and crashed into the wooden wall. He scrambled and dodged the curses that Sirius sent nonverbally. He felt slightly relieved to see no green lights - neither of them were in it to kill.

Regulus tried once more to stun his opponent, his voice wavering as he shouted he incantation. The spell was not effective but his brother did pause, letting his wand hand fall slightly. Sirius stared at his younger brother, his eyes widening as he mentally put a face to that voice and Regulus knew now that his identity was no longer secret. He couldn't hide behind his mask this time. Sirius roared out and pointed his wand back at Regulus, sending out curse after curse - one shot pass him, lighting the room up green.

The duel between the two brothers seemed to go on forever. Regulus had never seen his brother as fierce as he was tonight and Regulus knew that he was no match. He felt like his actions were all child-like compared to those of his brother. Maybe it was because the younger Black possessed no hatred for his elder brother and hatred was what fueled every movement, every curse of Sirius'.

Even though Sirius shot the Killing Curse multiple times, Regulus refused to play to kill. He was tiring rapidly, both physically and mentally. He couldn't do this anymore; he didn't want to be a monster. Seeing his brother on the opposite side of battle made it real to him that he _was_ on the evil side. He had no more fight left in him - he had nothing to fight for - and so, he stopped. Regulus lowered his wand and let the next curse hit him freely, knocking him onto his back and causing his wand to roll from his hand.

Regulus shook with fear, his whole body trembling, his chest heaving up and down as his brother approached him. He knew that his end was near and, truthfully, he was relieved - afraid, but relieved. He was going to get what he deserved. This time he was at the other end of the wand and was seconds away from getting a taste of his own medicine. Regulus knew that he must look like his victims had - helpless, eyes dancing with pure fear, wishing that it would just be over. Sirius stood over him, wand pointing directly at his younger brother's masked face.

Regulus closed his cold grey eyes and waited, waited for his life to end. But it never came. He reopened his eyes and shook his head. "Do it, Sirius," he urged. "Do it. Kill me. I don't want to live any more." His words were muffled from his mask but he knew that Sirius had heard him. His brother didn't move, didn't say a word; he just stood there, his wand held out, shaking slightly.

"JUST DO IT!" he repeated, louder this time. "DO IT IF YOU'RE GOING TO! DO ME A DAMN FAVOR!" He was afraid, but so were all of his victims and that hadn't stopped him. That wasn't the only thing had given him the strength to plead with Sirius to kill him, knowing that he deserved it wasn't what caused him to scream out. No, it was the knowledge the he couldn't do this any longer; he didn't want to fight, he didn't want to kill, he didn't want to be a Death Eater. There was no getting away from Voldemort other than by death and he would rather die by the hand of his brother than by another Death Eater.

Sirius dropped to his knees, poking his wand into Regulus' chest. He reached towards his younger brother with his free hand, his fingers brushing against Regulus' cold skin as he pulled the silver mask up and threw it to the side.

Having nothing to hide behind, Regulus averted his eyes from Sirius - he was ashamed of what he had become. He turned his face the other way, staring at the staircase that looked like it was going to cave in any day now. The younger Black tensed as he felt the warm hand of his brother's touch his cheek as he moved his head back towards him. Grey on grey, they both just stared at one another, a heavy silence hanging over their heads.

Regulus let his tears fall from his icy grey eyes as his brother gave him a disappointed look. He broke the silence as he choked out the words, "Please, Sirius, kill me. I don't want to do this anymore and I - I can't just leave. You know that. I've killed people, Sirius - my hands are stained by blood and my dreams are haunted. I can't live with myself anymore - I'm - I'm a monster."

The elder Black moved away from his younger brother, rising back to his feet. He hesitated, his wand still pointed at his flesh and blood, as he made his decision. "I can't," he said aloud, his voice wavering. "I'm sorry." Without another word, Sirius turned and fled down the stairs and back to the Order members.

Sirius had Apparated back to his house that night with a heavy heart; he lost three people that night. Gideon, Fabian, and his kid brother. Never in all the years that went by did he go a day without repenting his actions that night. He had had the chance to bring his brother back, to save him; Dumbledore would have been able to help. Why? Why hadn't he done that? Sirius knew why - it was because he hadn't trusted his brother that night. He hadn't quite believed that Regulus wanted to leave Voldemort's ranks. It was only a year later, when he had received that damn letter, that he realized his judgment had been wrong.

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**The lyrics above belong to the band Scary Kids Scaring Kids. They are(well, were) pretty sweet so go check them out!**

**I actually almost went with a different line from that song but decided to use that one because it could fit with either Regulus or Sirius.  
**

**This was done for Siriusly Smart's iPod Challenge in HPFC. **

**This an extend version of a part of my Sirius&&Reggie fic "That Mistake Was Gold." I changed a few things but overall they connect.  
**

**Thanks mew for being a siriusly awesome beta! Hehe, I am pretty sure that Remus was the one who comforted Sirius after this little episode if you catch my drift.**

**;)  
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